| You've done everything it takes to get your own | | | | 5) Your long-term goals are similar |
| game together, and you've been a man or | | | | If your futures are taking you in different |
| woman who deserves what you want for | | | | directions, either someone is going to have to |
| sometime now. In fact, you've found a partner as | | | | compromise, or your futures don't have each |
| terrific as you are, and the question has inevitably | | | | other in them. Period. |
| surfaced: Is it time to "pop the question" around | | | | 6) You know how to play together |
| here? | | | | Sure, she goes shoe shopping while he watches |
| I believe a lot of us really have not spent enough | | | | the NFL. But do you know how to enjoy leisure |
| time ruminating upon what it really takes to | | | | time together? We're not just talking about sex |
| consider a decision to make marriage plans. And | | | | here? I always thought it would be amazing to |
| make no mistake, my friends, this is the kind of | | | | find a woman who would want to go BMX racing |
| thought that should go on long before you are | | | | with me. As it turns out, that wasn't so |
| ever in the position to actually act upon what you | | | | farfetched. Couples who play together stay |
| think and / or feel. | | | | together. |
| Indeed, getting engaged should never be a | | | | 7) You both want to be married |
| "knee-jerk" decision. In fact, nothing involving | | | | Do both of you really desire marriage? If you feel |
| "jerks" of any kind should ever be a consideration. | | | | you are trying to persuade someone out of the |
| So whether you are in a serious relationship right | | | | single life who still wants to be there then guess |
| now or not, let's consider the top ten signs to | | | | what...you are not making valuable use of your |
| look for when considering marriage: | | | | time. |
| 1) You are attracted to each other | | | | 8) The basics in your lives are handled |
| First, you absolutely, positively must be sexually | | | | Are you mentally and physically healthy? Is your |
| attracted to the object of your affection. This is | | | | self-esteem in good shape? If you carry heavy |
| NOT being shallow, as we've discussed previously. | | | | concerns that consume you, it's not time to invite |
| Don't you appreciate how I freely endorse making | | | | someone else into your world permanently. After |
| this a priority? Thought so. Feel better now? LOL | | | | all, that would only give your heavy concerns |
| 2) You actually like each other | | | | someone else to consume. And that's not part of |
| Laugh if you will, but I've seen first-hand how | | | | a balanced relationship. |
| couples justify long-term relationships despite | | | | 9) You have no doubt in your mind that your |
| getting on each other's nerves big time. I | | | | partner is committed to you as you are to him |
| personally don't get it, and if you deserve what | | | | her |
| you want I surely hope you don't want that. | | | | Ah yes...the "trust" factor. Kill all jealousy in order |
| 3) You've spent enough time together to really | | | | to ready yourself for a committed relationship. |
| know each other | | | | And make darn skippy sure that's okay to do. If |
| Let's not talk in terms of calendar time here. If a | | | | there are signs your future husband or wife |
| couple is in a long-distance-relationship (LDR) for | | | | would cheat on you, then forgettaboutit. Really. |
| two years and see each other once a month for | | | | 10) You have no doubt in your mind that you are |
| two days, they may see each other about as | | | | committed to your partner as he/she is to you |
| much as a couple who lives two blocks apart and | | | | Turnabout is fair play here. Are you completely |
| has been joined at the hip since they met a | | | | sure you are trustworthy? Do you harbor |
| month ago. When you know that you've seen the | | | | fantasies about cheating on your future spouse? |
| person at his or her most relaxed (and at his or | | | | If you are focusing too much on someone |
| her worst, for that matter), then and only then | | | | else-especially if that "someone else" is potentially |
| are you in a position to speculate regarding what | | | | available to you, then my suggestion is to get |
| the future really holds. | | | | that resolved before feigning "commitment" to |
| 4) You are on the same page spiritually | | | | someone who would be truly committed to you. |
| Don't underestimate the importance of this. If you | | | | Whether you feel you are ready for marriage or |
| believe that God should be at the center of your | | | | not is okay. One should never feel pressured |
| relationship, it can only be that way if your | | | | either way. The framework for a solid marriage |
| would-be partner agrees. If this hasn't been talked | | | | with a great long-term prognosis can only be |
| about yet, make it a priority to do so. Even if you | | | | established when both partners truly want to be |
| are both agnostic or atheist, for that matter, it's | | | | there...and believe wholeheartedly in both the |
| still a good idea to discuss your world views and | | | | future and in each other. |
| make sure you are in agreement on what your | | | | After all, isn't that what love is for? |
| core beliefs are. | | | | |